Ask anyone who played youth sports reflect on something their parent said to them after a game or some sports incident with their parents and I guarantee almost every person will have a story for you. Parents have more influence on their kids in sports than any coach or trainer will ever have.
It's shocking how intense some youth soccer games can get and often times parents cannot wait until their kid gets across the field so they can talk about the game! Next time your child plays in a game notice how quick you are to discuss the game when its over. While you may have some great advice to give, your #1 job is to support and encourage. This does not mean that you cannot discuss the game, just be careful about how you approach it. Instead of offering up your opinion, begin the conversation with, "Good hustle today! How did you think the game went?" This will allow the kids to reflect on how they did and open up the conversation in a positive, encouraging way. 
I've been guilty in the past of "Post Game Analysis" with my son. That all changed after I read one of Cal Ripken's books. He tells a parable of sorts that goes something like this:
ReplyDeleteImagine you just had your worst day on the job. You tried real hard, but nothing went right. Now, imagine that you don't drive a car to get home. You have a driver and you sit in the back seat. But, that the driver of the car is none other than your boss. All you hear on the way home is, "You didn't do this; you didn't do that; you should have done this; you should have that...." How would you feel? Would you feel encouraged?
After reading that, I was cut to the bone. Since then, I've tried to leave it at "Good game (or tough game). Let's go get some ice cream". My son has taken to initiative to open up and talk about the game. Most times, after 24 hours, I've forgotten all of the tiny details of the game and what remains is that my son is active in a sport he enjoys and is doing his best at.
A final remark about the role of a parent. There are four ways to be involved in youth sports:
-as a player
-as a coach
-as a official
-as a parent
You can only be involved as one of these. If you are over the age of the player, your choice is either to coach, officiate or be a parent. If you want to be a coach or an official, get training and get involved. Otherwise, do your job as a parent and support the players who play, the officials who officiate and the coaches who coach.